Losing My Best Friend

Losing your best friend can be hard...
I know its been difficult for me.
I don't know about you but my heart is full of grief.

I know I wasn't myself for a while...I lost myself in the middle of the chaos.
Things got really bad...everyone became very emotional.
Everything was destroyed for me....
And now that the dust has settled, I can't believe what is before me.
I see this stranger, raising their voice at me, having little patience with me, who loses respect for me.
...a stranger......a bully.
 All I want to do is cry and mourn for my loss.

I think back to a time where we used to laugh and play,
like the day we had a picnic and watched a movie in the park and laid there until dusk...
When we thought alike, laughed at the same things, and understood each other.
I remember us saying how planets aligned and volcanoes erupted the day we met...
I still remember that morning...TKD practice...how you introduced yourself to me...
How we kissed at the gas station after practice....
A teacher, A sparring partner, A leader, A Best Friend.
...You looked at me one day and told me that you pictured me in a wedding dress....

But all of that is just a memory...
It hurts
Everything has changed...nothing is certain
And yet i am certain that you are gone my friend...
I'm left with these beautiful memories I mourn.
I will miss who you used to be, and how we used to be.
But today is a new day and I always say good luck to you, wherever you go.
Good bye, my best friend. 

This is a new beginning, no matter how difficult it may be.

I know I deserve better. 

I deserve a best friend, not a bully.

-Karina